What happens to sex bloggers or bloggers who sometimes write about sex when they hit a sex drought?  Do they stop writing?  Have they lost their raison d’etre? Or do they keep going, move onto writing erotica, dredge their imagination for filthy memories and create hot new imaginings from that filth laden bed?

I am asking because I am in that situation.  There have been no pulse raising meet ups not explicit heart rushing sexting for a while.  Probably not that long if I look at it with a clear eye but that is not how it feels.  It feels like a drought, it feels like I am drying up into an old maid before my time, it feels deadening and I don’t know what to do about it.

Real life intrudes constantly  The constraints on my time and those who I love to wrap my legs around seem to make it impossible for them to travel to me to meet.  The constraints on my purse make it impossible for me to travel to them and this last month has also seen me have to pack away and unpack a home after finding a new one so there has been even less time than normal.

I am so fed up of real life though, of the ordinary and mundane having centre place in my life.  I want some mind shattering orgasms, some leg trembling fingering, some application of pressure and pain and their gasping, heaving release.

I want some sex!

A swinger friend of mine has told me ‘eye you are dong it wrong, we women can always get cock.’  I think she is right, but whilst I don’t need to feel involved in a romantic relationship with someone to sleep with them I do need to know that they are not a dick, aren’t deceiving someone else to be with me and have respect for my slutty nature.  I have had enough nastiness, blame and shame to last me a lifetime and I will not go there again.  I also want some companionship.  To have chance to dress up and go out to dinner, I would love to go to the opera, I adore art galleries, theatre, coffee, good cake and hugs.  I like sex too.  Did I say that?

What prompted this post was the desire to be nominated for the sex bloggers awards being sponsored by Kinkcraft.  It feels awkward and needy to be that upfront about wanting the validation but I do.  I am under no illusions that I would be anywhere near a chance of winning and I realised when acknowledging that desire that I wasn’t talking about sex or writing about sex because of the current drought conditions in my life.  I suppose this is also another place where I feel on the sidelines unable to join in.  VL is no different from RL in this respect and once again I recognise that we bring ourselves to our experience here and myself at this moment is feeling disconnected and dried out but write about that I must since that is what I do.

I promised myself this time last year after such a shockingly awful time that I would prioritise my writing, myself and my choices. Old habits die hard though and in-spite of my earnest desire to kill the fuckers they still hang on and trip me up at times. One of these is to believe that other things, prioritised by others and not me are more important because they have been prioritised by someone other than me. I am killing that one again right now.  Surrounded by boxes, with no tea cooking I am writing using the internet connection of the old people’s home next door – dear God I am such a rebel – and fighting my way back to me. To a land of plenty where there is no drought, only a choice to be made of which particular drink to savour this evening.

Cocktails anyone?

Here’s the link to nominate sex blogs for 2016 – it’s easy to do so, just scroll the bottom of the comments and add the link.  Cheers ?






  • cherrytartblog

    I know how that feels 🙂
    I’ve been without for months but I’m still writing posts. Not so much about sex, but just about me and the depression.
    I have still managed the odd bit of filth, even if it’s not as much as before and there’s always photos 😀
    I like blogs that are about the whole person and not just about sex. It’s good to read about what real life is like for others, makes me feel like I’m not alone.

    • eye

      Creating photos help me stay connected . I also feel I want to communicate the whole of me so I do because here there is no one to please but me.

  • dcp65

    Thank you for your honesty …
    I agree … it’s the whole package … and while it is not an easy or settled time, stay true to who you are (which is why we think you’re beautiful)
    (And don’t stop the photos!)

  • Professor Taboo

    I am asking because I am in that situation.

    Eye, do not fret or despair too much, because everyone in our lifestyle(s) goes through phases and degrees of little-to-no activity or opportunities. There are many, many factors that go into these ebbs and flows. Some of which you have SOME influence upon, many you do not — unless of course you are a billionaire and easily afford to travel or fly anywhere anytime to seize opportunities of delicious kinks and perversions. 😉 That said, if your “drought” persists for over a year or two, then perhaps things should be modified or changed.

    What prompted this post was the desire to be nominated for the sex bloggers awards being sponsored by Kinkcraft.

    Hmmm, oh really? If I may, WHY is this important to you?

    To a land of plenty where there is no drought, only a choice to be made of which particular drink to savour this evening.
    Cocktails anyone?

    Yes please! Several cocktails actually! 😉 I am unsure of how popular and frequently arranged our lifestyle(s) is/are in the U.K. where you live and I am sure that distance to and from plays a part, but I am guessing that it is all “limited” as you allude to in this post. I find that the most varied activities of OUR sorts are found more easily in major cities — for me Dallas, Austin, and Houston — all of which are 2.5 to 5-hours travel time. Not an easy spur-of-the-moment occasion, sadly. :/ However, this current situation will happily change by spring 2017! Woohooo!

    I assume you’ve considered relocating? Maybe? <3

    • eye

      Professor , thank you for casting your lucid eye over this. My drought is mere weeks old, and my reactions more probably due to the destabilising effects of a house move I didn’t choose.
      I so wanted to be nominated. I wanted to feel a part of something since I have lost so many things I felt a part of. I have discovered that to ask for a nomination is not as fulfilling as finding that you have been. And in fact I was but didn’t know. Oh well. One day I will learn to trust …

      I am not in the lifestyle. I do not go to events. I sit in my house at the edge of the Cotswolds and post pictures of myself and wail into the interwubs.
      Glad things will change for you soon The distances in the US are far beyond my ken. I have moved 9 miles away and feel I have left home! ?

      • Professor Taboo

        Yes, trust… but I think I was probably saying “use some patience for a time” — guessing you’ve become all too acquainted with that technique, huh? o_O

        Oh dear Eye! I thought you were in our lifestyle(s)! I’m sorry. Based on your writing, I’m guessing you WANT to be in, correct?

        Thank you about my spring 2017 change. I cannot wait! Hah, 9-miles Eye? Goodness. Things are new and raw for you now, aren’t they? 😛 U.S. distances are indeed absurd; a result of our forefathers obsession with dominance, land, and “Manifest Destiny“…. yuk, gag, vomit. Let’s not go there. :/

        • eye

          I am in but not in. Literally, out but not out out (check out Mickey Flanagan on this on YouTube. Brilliantly funny).

          And I like the Manifest Destiny absurdity. My secret guilty pleasure is a fascination with Mormon history. It’s connected to this part of the world and I have visited the oldest extant Mormon church in the world which is down the road.

          Yes to new. Yes to raw. Yes to patience … I know … I know.

          • Professor Taboo

            Micky Flanagan, huh? He is hilarious! But I found numerous YouTube vids, several about the Out Out Tour. Is there a specific clip to which you are referring? 🙂

            Hahaha! You too are utterly intrigued by Mormonism & their origins? Are you fascinated by male polygamy or female polygamy? Hehe 👿

            Mmmm… that was a LOT of “yes’s” Eye! I’m… umm, strangely aroused. 😉

          • Professor Taboo

            on Mormonism’s bipolar-ness

            Bwahahaha!!! Oh the absurdity! Oh the confounding logic! Oh the pure satisfaction for male loins (only) and inflated egos! 😉 😛 Completely concur with your summation Eye!

            Going to watch that vid now. Thank you Darling. <3

    • Professor Taboo

      Watched several episodes of Big Love! Hah! Again though, I just don’t understand WHY it is strictly male polygamy and not male AND female polygamy!? Are the men just way too afraid that they cannot “keep” their women from other… umm, more talented men? 😉 😈

      And where is the equality in these “Divine arrangements”? Hehe

        • Professor Taboo

          Hahaha!!! Oh REALLY NOW? I have actually found the Earthly, spiritual, and physical rewards of poly-expansions not bound to genders or orientations to be overly rewarding… not just in theory, but a ton of practice and first-hand experience!!! Hence, I vehemently beg to differ! 😀

          • Professor Taboo

            Hahaha! Woman, that’s for DAMN SURE I’m not a believer — hell, I don’t even want a feint odour of that stuff in my nostrils! 😉

            The “rewards” are right here and now for the taking… IN THIS LIFE! Guaranteed! For some UNknown post-mortem life? No guarantees. Sorry, it’s a no-brainer for me. 😛

            And Eye, you are kind for the compliment; thank you. Nothing I’ve done or learned on my own — I’ve had many a great Mentors/Teachers all along the way! Nothing anyone else couldn’t seize upon themselves if they really wanted to… and be MORE alive. 🙂

            P.S. If you’d like to continue this convo over on Twitter mssging, let me know. I also know that it is getting quite late in your part of the world Eye. <3

I'd love to hear what you think!

%d bloggers like this: