When we started there was a container for us. A silo. Separate from our unshared lives it held us in that place and allowed me to give 100% in that time and place.
It enabled me to manage the intense emotions generated from our connection, to harness the energy created there and to use it for my own growth and to manage its impact on my life.
That container ebbed and flowed with us as we went about our separate lives. Then one day, in a field in Gloucestershire, it exploded. It couldn’t hold us any longer. We had got too big for it and we flowed remorselessly into hitherto secure parts of our separate lives
For a while I thought it was only me that had lost the silo and that was because I had poor boundaries or wishful thinking or was just deluded. Others thought so too. They thought that I would find the edges were still there for him, that I was a thing but not the thing I thought I was.
As I learned I could trust it, because I could trust my own instinctive knowledge, its energy and power was there again for me to harness. And that is what has fuelled my growth, my refusal to accept that my best years are behind me, my exploration of life that you read documented here.
Us/we, is at the heart of what I do. The dark of the sky is my watchnight, the glow of my phone is my prayer, and endeavour to make him proud in difficult moments and remember always that life is for living and opportunities are for leaping at.
And I miss him. I miss us and it is no weakness to do admit or do so. In fact it is our strength ?❤?
Don’t forget to click on the lips to see who else is being sinful this week.