I have had such ennui since we came back. Everything had paled into grey and I could see no way out to a colourful world that seemed no longer to be anything to do with me. I was lost.
I was ungrounded after a week of being connected to you. My world grew small enough to cover me and I stopped.
I just stopped.
After a day of emails, and sorting things, and a return to a home I felt absent from you sent me a message:
Bath night for eye, speak later. Oh and 4…
It immediately opened up a passage way out of this darkness and I rushed to put on my favourite red silk nightie. As I spread my legs, raising one to the level of my work desk – a formica table pressed into service and loved for its willing utilitarianism, its wings extended as if to fly, my foot steadied itself on the left-hand wing, braced and arched and I noted its pleasing shape.
My wand is required. I cannot use my fingers. As I press it to my unshaven mound my scent wafts around me and I remember her. Her fragrance, her taste, her sparkling blue eyes and that delicious grin.
1 … I remember the curling up around me, hand teasing the silk of my nightgown and my initial reticence
2 … I remember my decision to kiss her, to hold her in my arms and I wondered is this how it has felt when I have been with men? Something autonomous stirred in me, something new.
3 … I remember the glass dildo, the sound as it moved in and out of me, the gathering pace and her knowledgeable fingers.
4 … I remember her tongue, so skilled and so persistent, ravishing me over and over as I twined my fingers in her hair and laughed so softly with the joy of it all.
Then later that evening when I told Him what has happened, He laughed and said that anyone could tell that was going to happen and I blush to have been so seen and understood and fall in love with Him just a little more.
Yes Master, I message back, thank you.