Yes
I shouldn’t have said yes to that boy who offered to take me for a drive.
I shouldn’t have said yes to the boy who invited me in when I told him what the first boy and I had done.
I shouldn’t have walked down the road, looking into the eyes of the young men that drove towards me.
I shouldn’t have said yes to the ones that stopped and asked me if I wanted a lift.
I shouldn’t have said yes when they asked ‘does someone here want to be saved?’
I shouldn’t have said yes when they invited me to walk to the front to be prayed with.
I shouldn’t have said yes when he asked me to marry him (twice)
No
I should have said no to leaving school at 16 with 2 O’Levels
I should have said no to asking him for money for my kids
I should have said no to answering any questions from him
I should have said no to him coming back into my bed after trashing my kitchen
I should have said no to the constant criticism of my girls
I should have said no to not going on holiday unless they were away with their dad
I should have said no to putting his needs before my own or my children’s
Should
I should have asked the police to take him away when they offered.
I should have logged out of my gmail account before I went away for a weekend
I should have remembered that I am a FUCKING QUEEN
I should have made sure my husband knew it
I should have owned it, put on the mantle and worn the crown
Will
I will never apologise for being me again
I will never be silenced by another’s neediness again
I will own my desires, celebrate my loves and live my life to the fill
I will take pleasure in small delights
And I will delight in the big ones
I will dare to love with abandon and with my whole heart
I will never abandon myself again
16 Comments
May
Ohhh – that made me cry – so powerful and honest – you are a FUCKING QUEEN! x
eye
Thank you May xx
Jimbob
Oh Eye that makes me sad and happy! Thank you for being you.
eye
Can’t be anything else x
andy Southwest
Need a lift?
eye
?
Floss
YES! This, so much this. Like May I teared up reading this. I think this will hit many folks right in the feels because you’re not alone, while experiences and mileage may vary I think you’ve written something we could all hang on our wall as a timely reminder. Beautifully done, thank you so much for sharing with us for Food For Thought Friday. Floss x
eye
Thank you Floss. I may have found a meme I can contribute to regularly and that is truly a gift x
melodyinsights
An awesome post x
eye
Thanks Melody x
Marie Rebelle
Brilliant post, Eye. This is something all of us should come back to many times, and read over and over, especially the “will” part. You ARE a queen!
Rebel xox
eye
Thank you Marie. Raising a regal glass from one queen to another x
jupitergrant
Yes, you are a fucking Queen! Good for you, eye! ??
eye
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MPB
Wow eye, what a powerful post. I nodded along to a few of those, but easy to judge when you have the ability of hindsight and consequence. Concentrate on the WILL xx