but throughout it all, underneath the upset, the tears, and the turmoil I had a calm centre created from the knowledge that I had been truly seen for the first time in my life by someone whose opinion I trusted and I made Him proud.
-
-
Do not disturb
The sound of the key turning in the lock jolted me from my reverie. I knew that he would be standing behind me, surveying the sight of me in my underwear, obediently kneeling next to the bed. I’d chosen a matching set of dark grey silk and lace. I thought that the colour showed my pale skin at its best. I knew that the knickers cupped and displayed my bum well because of times spent in front of the mirror trying to create the perfect bum pic to send him. I hoped my real life body lived up to the picture’s teasing promise. I imagined the sign on the hotel…
-
Stastics and Damn Lies – On numbers and hard work
I have always been crap at numbers and pay very little attention to my follower counts, number of views, or links. I am mostly just happy to be able to do this and I avoid creating goals or targets for fear of missing them or disappointing myself or people whose opinion matters to me. In short, I fear failure because I do not believe in my ability to create my own success. With that in mind the yearly blogging awards is something that I cannot avoid, and actually don’t want to as, as contrary as it sounds, I do want to feel part of a community in spite of choosing…
-
Friends – a #F4tFriday post
She found me raging in the university library about the lack of books, about the assumption that mature students could afford either the time to search for secondhand books or the money to buy them new. I was raging, spitting derision for the place, for the expectations and hiding behind that rage from my fear that I had made a terrible mistake. She saw my rage and didn’t hide from it, she knew it wasn’t aimed at her and wonder of wonders, what made me spiky and difficult to befriend for others became the reason she liked me. She always knew that my rage had the energy to overcome my…
-
SinfulSunday – Morning glory
The Sun called to me today as I opened my curtains. “Let Me warm you,” He said. “Feel it in your bones. Let Me flow over your skin and in My glow, know, that spring is on its way as surely as I will rise tomorrow.” So I did. Don’t forget to click on the link below to see what other wonderful images have been posted this week 💋
-
Home – a Food for Thought Friday post
My handcrafted home, filled with pictures of children, memories of tears and laughter, and the unpainted putty around the window he smashed when he attacked me in the kitchen not quite set even after a year had passed.
-
Under the same moon – a #F4tFriday post
We spend most of our lives apart. We live our days out going to work or sorting chores or household tasks at the weekend. We see separate friends separately. We cook and eat at a hundred and ten miles distance. I don’t help him to reach a difficult place to soap His back in the shower. He doesn’t hold a coat open for me to put on a coat with ease. Our kisses are infrequent, our hugs can be counted on the fingers of no hands most weeks, we rarely sleep with limbs entwined and yet I count this as my most intimate relationship ever. This wasn’t planned. Our love…
-
#F4TFriday – in a nutshell
2019 was tough and glorious. Both not cancelling out the other, both requiring me to grow and develop the muscle and grit necessary for continuing to build a life I never thought I would have, all of it in its devastatingly cruel beauty worth the effort even though it often felt that I would not survive another blow. Until now I have never seriously considered setting goals or challenges across all areas of my life. I have had an aversion to setting them for a very long time. Sometimes the act of defining a goal seemed to be closing down all other options and I set greater store by…
-
Stays in the Room by Vlad Lioncourt for Masturbation Monday
Fueled by more champagne and some sultry foot play under the table, the sexual intensity was pushed ever higher. Chocolate was the logical next step because on this day, indulgence could only beget more indulgence...
-
2019 in pictures
