• #SexySaturday,  Images,  Me,  Moments

    Body love

    I haven’t been very comfortable in my body for the last year or so. Covid19 and the deaths of both my parents within 2 years hit my emotional and physical health dramatically The Germans have a word for it, don’t they always? They call it Kummerspeck or grief bacon and it feels apt. Composed of cortisol and solidified tears it settled around my middle in a way that felt unhealthy and was as unwanted as the causes. I have been working hard to regain my fitness levels for the past year and to get a handle on my emotional eating patterns. It’s been a real struggle at times, and whilst…

  • #F4TFriday,  Me,  Words

    I am envious of everyone

    Social Media often has a bad press.  On a bad day it is true that posts I see on my timeline can trigger feelings of envy.  Below are the kinds of thoughts I have noted down as I have thought about what triggers these thoughts: I am envious of everyone and it makes me sick. I envy the people in long term relationships that can introduce others into their lives without it totally fucking everything up. I envy those that can talk honestly about their desires to each other without someone flouncing off in a sulk that could last for days and threaten the business that they own together and…

  • Me,  Moments,  Words

    Unraveling

    It’s hard to unpick the fabric of lives that have been woven together for over a quarter of a century. Initially there is a tear, maybe a small one in a corner that doesn’t show. Perhaps it gets darned, perhaps not. Perhaps someone sticks a finger into the hole and makes it bigger. Perhaps it is just simply ignored or covered up in the hope that it will go away. But ultimately the fabric is weakened, and unless a timely repair is made it will not last. I was, and am, a skilled seamstress. Not so good at knitting. But when it came to weaving a life I could pull…