• Me,  Moments,  Words

    Lessons I have learnt from grief

    Those of you that follow me on twitter will have seen my message about my mum’s death. She became ill with Corvid-19 around a week ago, her nursing home had an outbreak in the corridor of the building her room was on and they locked it down to isolate those people who were ill with it from those that weren’t. In retrospect it hasn’t taken long at all, however it feels like a journey of a million steps from there to here. Mum was comparatively physically robust, certainly when I contrast her with my dad’s frailty of the three years before he died. Her mind was where her fragility showed.…

  • Eroticon,  Words

    Can I get a witness?

    Who here, watches porn? Hands up? Yes I see you. Me? No not really, not ever really, apart from that period when I first encountered fetlife with my ex. That opened my world right up. I saw things I had never, ever seen before. Women being whipped, men in tutus with barbed wire wound around their legs, revelling in the blood, people in latex, strung out on racks lying under funnels that directed the gushes of the people above them into their mouths. Debauched, energised, febrile at times, my body responded in spite of my mind. I got wet. It was perplexing. After all hadn’t Dworkin written that all penetrative…

  • Words

    Leaning in

    We met on a hot day in April by Harrods, you in your suit with laptop and a City grin and me with a charity shop Jaeger dress and my feet sore from London walking. I had a twitter friend with me, and was strangely anxious about you both meeting, what if you didn’t like each other? As it was, who could resist your eyes? Warm, friendly, alive and an unusual hazel colour. They warm the personality denying City uniform and speak always of a lively intelligence and a very special pair of hands. We said good-bye to my friend and caught the tube to the Tate Modern. A Picasso…

  • Elust,  Words

    Elust 100

      Elust 100   Photo courtesy of Wriggly Kitty Welcome to Elust 100– The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #101 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!   ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ He’s Out of My League Pink Hair, Don’t Care! I’m a feminist but… ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ Pain Sluts and Brain Squirrels His Car Keys Take…

  • Me,  Moments

    The Practice of Falconry

      I am your hawk you do not ask me not to hunt you do not cope my beak or talons instead.. you exhalt in my flight employ my abilities in your service retain me under your thumb stoop-homed, breath-bated with blood feathers primed I wait.. You have me hoodwinked, made my focus yours been my excitement’s captor roused, released and recall-lured me. I keen, a lamping we go! first posted on Fetlife December 2013 still true ?

  • Words

    Struggling

    I don’t struggle as you tie me. No matter how tight the bonds, how much they crease and pull at my skin.  No matter what awkward, uncomfortable position I have been contorted into.  No matter how much I want to pull away, to swing away from your belt or the crop.  I don’t struggle.  The ropes are an extension of the control I have extended to you since that moment I pressed two in the lift and glided up to submit to you in-spite of never having met you for longer than 4.5 minutes before in my life You do not tie me down, you do not restrain me to the corners…

  • Me,  Moments,  Words

    Unraveling

    It’s hard to unpick the fabric of lives that have been woven together for over a quarter of a century. Initially there is a tear, maybe a small one in a corner that doesn’t show. Perhaps it gets darned, perhaps not. Perhaps someone sticks a finger into the hole and makes it bigger. Perhaps it is just simply ignored or covered up in the hope that it will go away. But ultimately the fabric is weakened, and unless a timely repair is made it will not last. I was, and am, a skilled seamstress. Not so good at knitting. But when it came to weaving a life I could pull…