• Me,  Words

    Here goes

    I procrastinate, double-bind myself, hesitate, and then ... Well you know what they say about he who hesitates don't you? So here goes.

  • Words

    Connection, intimacy and time

    We have a routine, He and I.  I have written about it before.  The morning message, the shared journey to work, the cheerful ‘coffee?’ as we both grab a bit of space mid morning, the ‘lunch?’ reminder, the so welcome ‘tea?’ halfway through the afternoon, and the questioning ‘done?’ followed by the triumphant ‘done!’ as we both leave work.  Then we chat about our day until we both head to our evenings to reconvene around 9.15 for the last hour and a half of the day before curling up together and saying ‘night love xx’. We both know this is remote, believe me we do, but this rhythm frames our…

  • Words

    I don’t want to write this post

    There was a time when every encounter brought words gushing out of me. I had no trouble creating imaginative connections, new neural pathways were being forged, synapses were sparked, emotions were unlocked and I flowed, like a river towards the sea, always towards Him He was my ocean and I bathed in Him. I wrote for Him. He was my Master and when I struggled to start a piece I would ask Him for words. His words, His specific way of seeing the world opened up so much to me and I was made anew by His presence and touch. He made me gasp and tremble and cry with pain.…

  • #F4TFriday,  Words


    Yes I shouldn’t have said yes to that boy who offered to take me for a drive. I shouldn’t have said yes to the boy who invited me in when I told him what the first boy and I had done. I shouldn’t have walked down the road, looking into the eyes of the young men that drove towards me. I shouldn’t have said yes to the ones that stopped and asked me if I wanted a lift. I shouldn’t have said yes when they asked ‘does someone here want to be saved?’ I shouldn’t have said yes when they invited me to walk to the front to be prayed…

  • #F4TFriday,  Words

    #F4TFriday – Landmarks

    I scrolled through my posts looking for those that stood out as landmarks.  The first ones are easy.  The first post ever on my blog.  Where I seem bewildered but determined to get to grips with my changed circumstances – you can read it here: https://wordpress.com/post/cleareyedgirlblog.wordpress.com/3 I  then alighted on and chose this one as it so clearly evokes where we started and when I started playing with words: Strap sound https://wordpress.com/post/cleareyedgirlblog.wordpress.com/545 This post is another landmark; one where we acknowledged the breaking open of the D/s silo we had started the relationship in and our mutual desire to see where that took us: https://wordpress.com/post/cleareyedgirlblog.wordpress.com/3620 Every relationship has its ups…

  • Words

    Wallflower, wallflower growing up so high

    There was a time where everything inspired the desire to write. Having made a series of big breaks in my life and running on adrenaline most of the time, I was highly charged. My mind was taking in new experiences, new neural connections were being created hourly and I wanted to get it out there, wanted to share my new ideas with my new friends. I was in an expansive space – my world was getting bigger and so was I. Any expansion has to be supported by back fill, a tree extending a limb further out than it has roots to anchor it will inevitably topple over, and so…

  • Eroticon,  Sinful Sunday,  Words

    Eroticon 2019 Virtual Meet and Greet

    Eroticon 2019 Meet and Greet I have been attending Eroticon since 2013 and have all the notebooks from all the sessions I have attended.  I guess it is fair to say then that Eroticon has been extremely influential in my growing understanding of both my own sexuality and those around me.  This has been reflected in my writing and was central to my starting an MA in Creative Writing (I am still to decide whether to continue with this). To say that going to Eroticon is life changing is no small claim but one I make boldly as it has had a huge impact in my own life.  I hope…

  • Words


    my hand and put it where you need my touch. Arrange my limbs to suit your purpose on this cold wintry day. Do you need my heat? Want my moist lips around your velveted head? Require me only to accept you in? Take it. Grind my face into the scent of you. Place your hand on my head and push me down, so close my nostrils cannot allow breath in. Fill my mouth with you. Have me moan and wriggle with pleasure mixed with drops of fear. Laugh as you release me, and I gasp and drool, pupils wide with arousal, mouth still open as instructed. Tease my nipples with…

  • Words

    Searching for a better song to sing..

    I’m all right with you, here in this room; but when I saw those people you were with I couldn’t come in. I would have seized up. Because I’m a freak. I can’t talk to the people I live with any more. An’ I can’t talk to the likes of them on Saturday, or them out there, because I can’t learn the language. I’m a half-caste. I went back to the pub where Denny was, an’ me mother, an’ our Sandra, an’ her mates. I’d decided I wasn’t comin’ here again. I went into the pub an’ they were singin’, all of them singin’ some song they’d learnt from the…