We won’t know unless we try

How many times have I been here, this place with its bright open skies, and its own particular micro climate not limited to the weather?

I had given it very little thought in the past given how important it has turned out to be to me and how strange that, or maybe apt, that what thought I had given it was more of a suspicious sideways glance then any full frontal eye contact. It seemed other, to the rural housewife I was, and nothing to do with me at all.

I walk along the front, and up into the town where the empty building He lured me to with text messages stood with its door ajar. The first floor a party to my being stripped and tied in front of the window as people passed by on the double decker buses, close enough to make eye contact if they gazed in the right direction at the right moment, far enough away to make me drip at being exposed this way.

Through the Lanes with their kitch cafes where He bought me cupcakes and tea and I howled my way through my 25th wedding anniversary into His shoulder. I wondered then if this jagged tear at my centre could ever be mended. Would I ever be as good as new? Was it true, as my counsellor said, I could be better?

Back down and along the front to my favourite Italian restaurant, where He took my hand as I told Him that I was all in here, for better or worse and that I was so with the knowledge that I didn’t know it all.

And I wondered could we have it all, was it even possible?

And He answered we won’t know unless we try will we?

Time passes, as it is wont to do and I feel the wind in our particular micro climate soften and fall as the water is sucked back out to the sea. A wave is coming that will take our feet from under us, cast us out and pull us into a new shore. One that is different from any either of us have seen before and we will emerge, gasping from the exertion and laughing with the exhilaration onto a new shore where we find ourselves.

And we will try and we will laugh and love while we try, oh yes will we try ?❤️?

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