I was asked this on twitter (@_Masterseye) the other evening and above is my reply.
The question threw me a little. To explain – my choices and actions were beong set against a decision by the question poser not to pursue their own interests and desires so as to protect their marriage and so to them my choice could easily be seen to be a shallow one – surely I couldn’t leave my marriage just because of sex? There wasn’t judgement from this person nor is there from me regarding their choices. We all do what we can, when we can. It was just honest curiosity, after all I seem like a sane, good person, I couldn’t do that could I?
And no I couldn’t but I also could. This is because there is no such thing as ‘just’ sex in my world. That essential part of ourselves can and must be given a voice in our lives. It is our spark and connection to the divine and other. Without it we die.
So, yes I did, change my life because of sex, because of my sexuality, and it was no shallow choice. It was an essential one born out of a recognition that comfort is often the enemy of life and that the pursuit of happiness above all other things can stunt our growth. I wanted to grow.
I experience a complete mixture of emotions and states at the moment. One moment absolutely content with my own company, the next lonely as hell. This really is a strange land and I guarantee that if you feel the need to change something big this year you will join me in this place with the other malcontents and dreamers at least some of the time during that process .
Below is the end of that conversation, I still think it will be worth it.