• Us,  Words

    Object Permanence

    He’s gone again. It was a Friday morning full of leaving. No matter how hard I try it always fore-shadows the day. I am saying good-bye before I need to, protecting myself from the pain and beginning to wrap myself up in don’t cares and see you soons that sound as hollow as they feel. This time was different. I was monitoring myself, checking in with how I really felt rather than my habitual ways of dealing with separation. The old wounds were still there, I could feel the scar tissue itching. My old habits were waiting in the wings for their cue but centre stage was a clarity of…

  • Moments,  Us

    This is it, this is us!

    He is snoozing in an armchair next to me as the boat engine rumbles away behind us. Fuelling the warm radiators, the hot water, the cosiness we find ourselves in, a week after he joined me. A week after our seven year old long distance relationship transformed into one where we share the same address and go up the stairs to bed together every night. This us started online. It was not meant to become something that would cause us both to unpick fabric we had been weaving with every intention of wearing ’til death us do part. To those that might judge us I would say you cannot judge…

  • hand on leg
    Words

    When next we meet – I will wear purple

    It’s been 119 days since we met. Since I breathed in your scent at the delicious point where your shoulder meets your neck. Under the crisp collar, a tender spot that lures me everytime we meet to breathe deeply and sigh, and smile. Home I think. Home I feel. This is home, I hear myself saying.

  • a woman with a vibrator between her legs
    #SexySaturday,  Images,  Moments,  Us

    Owning pleasure – an about us post

    I remember it so clearly. I was lying on my bed even though it was lunchtime, I was still wearing my underwear which was also odd as I like to sleep naked. However, I wasn’t there to sleep, I was there for my own pleasure, with a man that wasn’t there, and who also wasn’t my husband. We’d been talking for months, from early spring until this warm summer day. I could hear the cars on the busy road outside, going about their business as if something as if all was normal. So afraid of being caught was I that I wondered how could they not know what I was…

  • Moments,  Words

    Go for a walk, then write about it

    I was reminded the other day about the state known as subfrenzy.  This is most notable in women who become aware of the concept of a D/s relationship, often via films or writings of some kind and then become obsessed with finding a Dom or getting their slightly bemused partner to Dominate them.  This is often not accompanied by proper exploration or evaluation of the risks and benefits.  Many people, and I include myself in that category, do not have a well functioning method of communication, understand the concept of consent or have good boundaries.  Many are co-dependent and see D/s as a way to explain why they see themselves…

  • woman with plaits
    #F4TFriday,  Words

    #F4TFriday – oops we did it again!

    You might have seen my twitter posts with #InAField as the tag over the last couple of years.  Initially they were accompanied by pictures of our candlelabra as we ate in the evening.  Most recently the pictures have included boots, tweed jackets and sometimes have even been taken from the back of a carriage as we have careered around a field.  After a lifetime of not being sporty I find myself a competitor in a sport so far removed from my working class background that it makes me gasp. Think of Ben Hur, minus the wheel spurs obviously, and complete with a woman hanging onto the back of a carriage…

  • #F4TFriday,  #sexbloggersformentalhealth,  Words

    Under the same moon – a #F4tFriday post

    We spend most of our lives apart.  We live our days out going to work or sorting chores or household tasks at the weekend.  We see  separate friends separately.  We cook and eat at a hundred and ten miles distance.  I don’t help him to reach a difficult place to soap His back in the shower.  He doesn’t hold a coat open for me to put on a coat with ease.  Our kisses are infrequent, our hugs can be counted on the fingers of no hands most weeks, we rarely sleep with limbs entwined and yet I count this as my most intimate relationship ever. This wasn’t planned.  Our love…

  • #F4TFriday,  Moments,  Words

    #F4TFriday – Memories, Moments and Wanting More

    The Beach Boys are playing ‘God Only Knows, as I type this in front of a fire that I hefted the coal for into my car boot at the garage as He got soaked to the skin putting air in my sodden tyres to keep me safe.  In this cosy setting we paint us on a canvas bought for another purpose.  We paint over the existing brush strokes with our conversations, moving from twitter to plans, to work, to people we know, with ease and interest.  We lighten the shadows, highlight an obscured point of interest, deepen the darkest places until they glow again.  Sometimes we just hug on His…

  • Images,  Sinful Sunday

    SinfulSunday – close shave

    This week’s SinfulSunday is a photo taken during our holiday last week. I had asked Him, ‘how do you want me hairy or smooth’ He replied ‘smooth, and I will take take of it next week.’ Shaving. Such an intimate, caring act. He knows that smoothness heightens my sensitivity and makes it easier for me to orgasm but that I have to travel 30 miles to get it done well and don’t always have time before we meet. By saying He would take care of it He relieved me of the responsibility for pleasing Him and also set the scene for a very sensual intimate moment. A push onto the…

  • #F4TFriday,  Me,  Moments,  Words

    Elpis and the Road Less Travelled

    I have a little book with me. The first entry is dated 27/07/2000, 19 years ago and 7 months into our setting up our business together with a family of four, the youngest of which was 4 years old. My thoughts were naturally revolving around my children. I can see that I am concerned with how I was spending my time with them, but also, even then, with how to be me. I write ‘The Art of Living – ways of being with children, not using the time to educate them, actually showing them yourself‘ I go further ‘How to make a job/career of that time’ Then I add ‘Therese’s…